I just watched "Dancer In The Dark" with Bjork for the 2nd time. It was still just as depressing as before. But for some reason i love that movie so much. If you haven't seen it, go rent it.

I moved to Bremerton again. But I will NOT be here that long. I promise you. Brandon will be going to school full time to get his pre - shit done, then we are leaving.


All I have really wanted to do is travel. take some money and a car and leave.



.......

When talking with a friend the other night she said, "i don't care about anyone's opinions." The funny thing was I had just shared something that was, well, my personal opinion. It was rather offensive. So I asked why does she have any friends? She said " I haven't any." (mind you, we have been friends sense the 6th grade) Then I asked why is she still living. Why not go fucking slit your throat. Really whats the point in existing if you don't care about anyone or anything? Then she said I liked to argue. I laughed, smiled and understood why she is the way she is. But still, I feel remorse, for loosing such a good friend.


On another note, the mother fucking snow went away! thank JESUS!!

It's snowy as fuck. I got in a car accident and now my tire is flat. Thank god for the MAX, or I wouldn't ever go to work in the winter.

What exactly have I done today? Slept, watched TV, and I have eaten some food.

Perfect American.

I slept about 13hrs. I also called out of work. this is the best day ever.

You are all I feel now.

oh how i need some opiates

...

I am confused.
Why am I content with what i have and he wants so much more? Move to Europe, East Coast? I would like to visit, but not move there. Oregon and Washington are what I know, where my family is. And I have no intentions of leaving. this isnt saying I'm lazy, I want to build a movement here on the west coast. Common Action is growing and we have made awesome progress.

my health insurance gets cut off in 2 weeks.
Brandon doesn't have food stamps anymore.
I cleaned my rooom, but my brain is still a mess.

alex

PS. WAKE UP.

I cant believe I actually said I hated him.

more than once.

over and over.

I could never hate that boy.


I apologize.




I have a friend that thinks there isn't any point to any real romantic relationships because nothing lasts. I was thinking, is that really the point? Or should you just enjoy what it is for how ever long it lasts?

I suppose it is all subjective.


goodnight.

I am stuck. does anything ever actually change? I feel like I am repeating everything that has ever happened to me.


Anyway,what should I be for Halloween that is cheap? I'm not looking for originality either.

how can someone so inconsistent mess up so consistently.



I have got it all...


most.
i have got it almost, almost figured out.





  you are not awake.
Its better that way i guess.

my head is disorganized


so I am organizing my room.

You are not awake.
















 I wish it that you wake up one day, and that day be wonderful

We wont pass this way again


so kiss me with your mouth open.

sometimes I feel like I'm in little pieces scattered everywhere.




AHHH

the other day i was trying to get a hold of my father, but was unable and became very angry. you see I don't talk with him much, I mean not by choice. He just has never been around. Anyway, I called him hoping that he would help me out with buying a new tire for my car. But come to find out this morning my Grandmother called to say that he was in the hospital. He has been ill sense about April. He cant breathe with out assistance, his liver is enlarged and can barely talk.
I'm not writing to tell you that my life is shitty and give me pity. In fact i adore my life, it's just i never thought about him dying. it makes me want to go see my great grandmother, and all of the others I have not seen in a while.

I think I will go see him again tomorrow. He is staying at Providence Hospital off of Glisan and 47th, so it's not far. I will walk if i have to.

I'm drunk again.

hahaha.

whats new.


Alex's day:
wake up 12:30
play Zelda twilight princess for about 3hours
edit paper for CAA news paper
CAA p-town branch meeting
CAA publication meeting
look for jobs
look for jobs
play zelda
play guitar
get drunk
get drunker




I hope your days are just as fantastic.

BRANDON got a job
YES.


YES.

I am awake until 3am everyday and cant wake up early anymore.

perfect.

listening to:
The Microphones:
the glow part 2.

makes my heart warm.
So I have this Internet radio called Pandora. You should check it out, it's completely free and awesome. You type in artists you like and it pulls up that artists and artists that are like them.

Brandon has a job interview tomorrow. I fucking need him to get it. We both have been applying at places like crazy. but no fucking luck.

I took a train up to get my car in Bremerton.  (Unfortunately before I moved, I had to leave it up there because  the timing belt went out among other things.) 400$ later I am driving it back home, about,  20min from the 205 bridge  the fucking tire blows out. COOL. real fucking COOL. I am on the edge of the highway about to get ran over by the countless semi-trucks, when I remember I have a jack in my trunk along with spare. So I get it out and try to change my tire. good thing I cant get it off. By this time its about dusk and I am thinking about all of the sick horror movies I have watched, and wondering if I am going to die from a crazy clown that comes out of the drains. Anyway, So i get back in my car to look for my cell phone to call Brandon. I get a hold of him but about mid way through our conversation my phone starts beeping saying LOW BATTERY. I'm asking if my parents are around and if he can help in anyway....But turns out they aren't and he cant help. I call my grandma shortly after trying to get my tire off again. I ask if i have AA, but again, NO. Finally this guy pulls up in an escalade wearing dress clothes saying "I have to stop when I see a domsel in distress." Not a damsel a domsel. HAHAHA, but whatev he gets my tire off with his tools. Turns out mine suck.